It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
