you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
