you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
