Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
