THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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