Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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