Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
