Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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