Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
