uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
