vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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