Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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