we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm too high and old for this...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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