This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
