so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize