Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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