i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
