We're facebook friends in real life
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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