btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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