He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
