The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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