the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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