I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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