i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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