I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
