The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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