The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
