they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Are my feet made of real feet?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
