did you get engaged???
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
