woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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