I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
