Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
