I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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