Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize