morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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