New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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