You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
