Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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