toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
