Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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