Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
