she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
