im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
