you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
