I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
