remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We have started to decorate penises.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
