it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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