'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
