we're blogging at a bar
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
