i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm passing your future prison.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
