We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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